Sentimental Haste Companion Pieces
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: This will eventually be a collection of companion pieces to my story Sentimental Haste. The first chapter explores how the Simon Bricker story line would have ended in that universe. The OC is Nicholas Crawley, Cora and Robert's son (in this universe Cora does not lose the baby). Chapter 2: Robert and Cora's wedding night. Chapter 3: The Spanish Flu.
1. Chapter 1

This is set in the Sentimental Haste universe. If you haven't read that story, just a very brief synopsis:

Cora did not lose the baby and Robert and she named the boy Nicholas. Due to something to do with Cora's pregnancy, Mary and Matthew marry in 1914 and they have four children by 1924. George was born in 1915 and is only six months younger than Nicholas. As Robert does go to war in this universe, Cora becomes the temporary head of the family and thus Sybil and Tom get married a little earlier as well.

Matthew and Sybil both live in this universe, plainly because I did not want them to die.

Isobel married Dr. Clarkson and Carson and Mrs. Hughes are married as well.

There is of course a lot of wishful thinking in the Sentimental Haste universe, but that is what fanfiction is for J

This is set in 1924 and involves Simon Bricker. It really explores the question of how Nicholas might have influenced what happened.

I am not sure how good this is, I just felt like returning to the Sentimental Haste universe and since I included nothing from Series 5 in that story I thought it might do.

I am thinking about adding a few more companion pieces over the course of time. If there is anything that you would like to see, just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Please let me know what you think!

Thank you,

Kat

"Papa?" He turns around and sees his son standing in the library. He wonders what the boy is doing downstairs at this time of the day, he should be in the school room together with George and the other children, but something seems to occupy the boy's mind and he welcomes the interruption regardless of that. He was preparing to discuss crop rotations with Matthew and Tom, something that Mary has already mentioned to him too. He is very thankful to his sons-in-law and daughter for taking such an interest in Downton, especially to Mary and Matthew who lost both title and estate the moment that Nicholas was born.

"Shouldn't you be in the schoolroom?" Nicholas looks a little guilty and the boy reminds him of himself. He did not always enjoy his lessons either.

"I slipped away during the break." The boy looks a little worried, so he holds out his hand to him, which his son takes. He wonders how much longer Nicholas will be willing to sometimes hold his parents' hands. He doubts that it is much longer.

"Well, now that you are here, what can I do for you?"

"Why don't you get along with Mama anymore?"

"What?" He has no idea what his son is talking about.

"You don't smile at her anymore and she always looks so sad."

"That is not true." He is almost sure it isn't true. But Nicholas could be right about Cora looking sad. At least sometimes.

"Papa, it is true. Sybil says so too." He should probably talk to Sybil then, opposed to Nicholas she is an adult, married herself and thus knows what sharing one's life with someone else means.

"I'll talk to Sybil about it."

"And to Mama?" The boy is right about this.

"I'll talk to her too." Nicholas still looks quite worried and he is sure that there is more to it than his son lets on. He knows not to push him, Nicholas is much better at talking about his feelings than he is himself but he needs his time.

"I am scared that you and Mama will be like Rose's parents. That you don't want to be married anymore." He wonders how Nicholas even knows about this. Shrimpie certainly did not mention his broken marriage in front of Nicholas, but he supposes that his son just listened to Rose talking to one of the girls.

"Nicholas," he says and the boy looks at him. People always tell him how much his son looks like him and he supposes that it is true in many respect, but the expression on his son's face, an expression that signals a mixture of sadness and hope reminds him of Cora. It reminds him of her painfully so. "Your mother and I are not like Rose's parents. And I promise you that we will never get divorced."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Sometimes the boy is too inquisitive. Cora and he raise their son quite liberally, certainly far more liberally than they raised their girls, but Nicholas was such a surprise to them and he was born a few months into the Great War, so the world his son grows up in is certainly different from the world that the boy's sisters were raised in two decades ago.

"Because your mother and I love each other," he says and then Nicholas smiles but only for a second.

"You should tell Mama that you love her."

"She knows I love her."

"But you should tell her." He wonders for a second if he should tell his son that he has overstepped his boundaries, his father certainly would told him that, but he is sure that Nicholas only means well and is truly worried.

"Maybe you are right."

"I think I am." He wishes he could have captured this on camera because the resemblance between Nicholas and Cora in this moment was uncanny.

"And I think that you have to return to your lesson." Nicholas gives him something between a nod and a shrug and walks away.

He returns to his work but his thoughts keep wandering. Why does Nicholas think that he needs to tell Cora that he loves her? Why is the boy so worried? Even if he overheard Rose say something about her parents, he should know that his parents are very different. His mother keeps complaining about them showing their affections too openly constantly. Not a week goes by without it. And then he realizes that indeed several weeks have gone by without it, that his mother even asked him, very astonished, whether he never asked Cora's opinion. He tries to remember the last time he told Cora that he loved her and realizes that he can't remember it. Surely it must have been after their anniversary and if not that then on their anniversary. He can't remember telling her but there had been a fire at the Abbey that night and surely he can be excused for not telling his wife that he loved her after being afraid that their house would burn to the ground. Although by the time that Matthew raised the alarm, Cora and he had been fast asleep. But shouldn't he have told her afterwards? It had been her who had called the fire brigade and it had been her who had helped getting Nicholas and their grandchildren out of the house safely. But he only went back to bed, thanking God that nothing worse had happened than damage to one room.

Nicholas is right, he thinks, he should tell Cora that he loves her. Today. So he walks upstairs a little before the dressing gong to catch her on her own and he does but she seems to be cross with him. He asks why and she answers "Because of the way you treat and talk about Mr. Bricker," and that does away with all his good intentions. He leaves her room without another word. But not without banging the door.

He gets changed into his uniform, he has to attend that regimental dinner, and once he walks down the stairs, he sees Mr. Bricker standing next to Cora. He wonders whether he should have told Matthew or Tom to keep an eye on that art dealer but it is too late now. So he tells Bricker that he has to leave and gives Cora a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. A movement on the gallery catches his eye and when he looks up he sees his son standing there, looking at him and mouthing the words 'tell her' to him. He looks back at Cora and sees her smile at something that the art dealer must have said and then looks back up at Nicholas who looks at him expectantly. He doesn't know why he listens to a nine year old, but he does listen. He touches Cora's forearm and looks at her.

"Come outside with me. Please." She stares at him incredulously.

"Robert, we have a guest."

"I am sure that Mr. Bricker will excuse you for a minute," he says but keeps looking straight into her eyes. "Humor me. Please." Cora must have caught a movement on the gallery too, because she looks there as well now and when she sees their son she nods.

"Robert, what is this about? Is it about Nicholas? Why was he watching us?"

"He was watching us because he is afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Cora's concern for their little boy is obvious and it almost breaks his heart.

"That we'll turn into Susan and Shrimpie. I don't know how he got the idea, he probably heard Rose say something to one of the girls. He has only seen them together a very few times, I doubt he really knows what he is talking about but I told him he didn't have to worry." Cora raises her eyebrows at this as if she wasn't really convinced.

"Cora, you do know that I love you, don't you?" She looks into his eyes but does not say anything.

"Because I do. Love you. I love you." She slowly nods, her eyes brimming with tears.

"You haven't said it in a very long time."

"I am sorry," he says and gently brushes his thumb across her cheek.

"And you keep ignoring me." The moment she says it he knows it to be true and pains him quite a lot. So he takes both her hands in between his.

"I'll stop that. As soon as I am home tomorrow, I'll cancel all my appointments. We can spend the weekend in London if you like. Or stay here with the family if that is what you prefer. I'll be there for you and just for you."

"Let's go to London. I'll telephone Rosamund tomorrow morning." The excitement on Cora's face makes him wish to be able to return tonight.

"And I love you too," she adds. He knows this is his clue and despite the fact that they are in full view of both Carson and the chauffeur and quite possible their son who might be looking at them from an upstairs window, he kisses her. Full on the lips and then some. She murmurs something he can't understand but the hoarse voice she used almost makes him cancel the dinner. But that is something he can't do, not on such short notice.

"My God, Cora," he says and pulls her closer to him. The giggle that escapes her tells him that she felt the effect she just had on him.

"Your mother is coming in early tomorrow morning to discuss the church bazar," she says and he is very, very thankful for that comment.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says and then very reluctantly lets go of her.

She walks back inside in a daze but when she sees the small smile playing around the butler's face she nods at him. She knows that the staff all route for Robert and her, they all want them to be happy and it can't have escaped their notice that the last few weeks have been difficult.

"I am sorry about this, Mr. Bricker," she says but doesn't see his reaction because Nicholas is still on the gallery looking at her questioningly. She smiles at her son and nods and he walks away.

She muddles through dinner and only decades of experience in hosting make it somewhat of a smooth sailing. Mr. Bricker as their only guest is sitting next to her and she makes the necessary small talk with him but has in fact no idea what she is saying. Mary motions for her to turn and she is now talking to Matthew who tells her something about George climbing a tree. It is also Mary who motions for her to go through and when she walks past her daughter the girl smiles at her and says "I suppose we won't see much of either Papa or you during the weekend."

"We are going to London," she replies and Mary nods at that and then grins at Sybil who looks like she did on Christmas mornings when she was still small.

She realizes throughout the evening that Simon Bricker tries to catch her attention repeatedly and because being a good hostess has been engrained in her, she eventually pays him enough attention to have an interesting conversation. She is glad however when she is in her room and Baxter has left her alone because thoughts of Robert kissing her so indecently come back to her and they make her blush. She hears a door open and thinks that it was Robert's dressing room door and when she turns around she finds her son standing in her room.

"Nicholas, what were you doing in your Papa's room?"

"I couldn't sleep." She holds her hand out to her son and he takes it and then without asking he climbs onto her lap, something he hardly ever does anymore.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes. About all the soldiers." That is what she was afraid of. Nicholas still is not always able to deal well with the experience he made during the first few years of his life. They turned their house into a convalescent home before he was even a year old and when he turned two Robert had already been lost and did not return for several more months. She doubts that Nicholas actually remembers Robert missing, but she is sure that he knows that everyone around him had been afraid. And because he is the heir to the Earl of Grantham, some of the soldiers living in their house took a special interest in him and told him gruesome stories of the trenches. The boy has had nightmares all his life, although they have become far and few between. But seeing his father in his uniform, even if it was his regimentals, probably caused his most current nightmare.

"I am sorry my boy," she says and she does feel guilty. They did their duty, they had to help, but it has made Nicholas' young life more difficult.

"It's alright Mama," the boy says and faintly smiles at her. She sometimes wonders if he knows how guilty she feels.

"Would you like to stay for a while?"

"Yes. My book is in Papa's room. I'll get it." The boy runs of and returns with _Arabian Nights_. She sometimes isn't sure about Robert's choice of books that he reads with their children, when Mary was five, he read her some of the Greek classics, but all their children have enjoyed reading with their father and she doesn't want to interfere. Nicholas now settles down next to her, opens the book and begins to read out loud.

The door opens again and without looking up, she says

"Did you forget anything?" thinking that it must be her maid. When she looks up, she sees that it is in fact Mr. Bricker, in his dressing gown. She gets up and asks him to leave. Repeatedly. But he doesn't. He says something about her family not appreciating her, something that goes utterly too far and isn't his business. She keeps asking him to leave. But he doesn't.

"Mr. Bricker, my son is in this room. You cannot believe that I had any intention of doing anything other than taking care of him and going to sleep."

"You could send the boy away," he says and she wishes he would go away. Mr. Bricker in her bedroom is the last thing she wants, especially with Nicholas present.

"I won't," she says. "Quite opposed to you, he has a right to be in here." In that moment Nicholas gets up and moves to stand next to her. "Mr. Bricker," she says again. "You must leave. I have no interest"

"Cora," he interrupts her and she wants to hit him across the face for daring to call her by her first name. But in that moment several things happen at once.

The door opens again and Robert comes into the room saying something about being glad that she was still awake, Mr. Bricker tries to touch her face and Nicholas moves forward, kicking Mr. Bricker in the shins while yelling "She asked you to leave," at him.

She holds her son back and tries to calm him and when she looks up again she sees Robert hitting Bricker across the face. They stumble onto her bed and then onto the floor and make a racket that she is afraid will wake the whole house. Eventually they stop and Bricker leaves without looking at her. She hopes he isn't seen by anyone.

"Robert," she says and he looks at her, his eyes full of disappointment.

"I'll sleep in my dressing room," he says. Her heart breaks at this and she can hardly hold back her tears.

"Mama, don't cry," Nicholas says and climbs back into her bed. He begins to read again and she sits down next to him. She wants to go after Robert but she knows him well and he needs to calm down first.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Why was Mr. Bricker here?" She has been waiting for that question and doesn't really know what to say.

"He wanted something he couldn't get."

"Did he want to sleep here? Like Papa always does?" She decides that honesty is the best policy and she is sure that Nicholas does not really know what Mr. Bricker actually wanted.

"I suppose so. But I did not want him in here."

"I know. You said so."

"The question is whether your Papa knows that too." She wishes she hadn't said it, Nicholas has seen and heard enough for one day and shouldn't be burdened with his parents' marital problems, at least not more than he has already burdened himself with them.

"Then you should tell him. There is still light in his room, he must still be awake." She looks at Nicholas and sees the encouraging smile on his face. He is such a good boy and wise far beyond his years and she is so very proud of him.

"Maybe you are right," she says, gives her son a kiss on the forehead and then walks towards her husband's room.

When he hears the door open he wants to tell Cora to go away but he is almost sure that Nicholas is still in her room and the poor boy has seen and heard enough for one day, so he decides to be cordial and doesn't say anything when Cora closes the door and sits down next to him.

"Thank you," she says and he wonders what she means.

"What for?"

"Beating Mr. Bricker into a pulp. That is what he deserved. I am glad you did it. Although I am afraid that you will have to talk to Nicholas about it."

"Of course I do. And I will. I don't want him to believe that hitting a man is a gentlemanly way to solve a problem." She smiles at him and then takes his hand but he jerks it away.

"No," he says. "There was another man in our bedroom. A man you have flirted with for weeks. Don't think that you pretending to be thankful for me having come in on time is helpful in any way."

"Robert, I did not invite him. I told him to leave. Several times."

"And why should I believe that?" Why should he indeed? He came home as a surprise for her and found that art dealer in her room.

"Because I am telling you. And because you should know that I never would, never could betray you."

"That is what you say." He knows he is unfair but he is also hurt.

"Do you really think that I would have let Nicholas into our room had I known that Mr. Bricker was coming there? Do you really think me capable of subjecting our son to witnessing such an act of betrayal? You should know me better than that. If you are for some reason not able to believe, after 34 years of marriage, that I could never take another man into my bed, then you should at least know me well enough to know that I would never hurt one of our children by letting them see me with a man who is not their father."

He doesn't want to answer because he would have to tell her that he knew that she was right and he isn't ready for that. He wants to be angry at her.

"Robert, please. Think about it. You heard what Nicholas said and you saw what he did when you came in."

'She asked you to leave,' Nicholas said, he is sure of it. And the boy kicked that art dealer in the shins. He is somewhere between being outraged at his son's misbehavior and pride of his son's innate desire to defend his mother.

"I don't know whether to be proud or outraged," he says and hopes that this will stir the conversation away from his own reaction. Cora chuckles at this.

"Be proud of him. He came to my defense and he reacted the same way you did."

Now he has to chuckle too. Cora gently touches his face again and looks into his eyes.

"I love you. I wish you believed that."

"I do believe it. I am just very disappointed." Cora sighs and looks at the floor. When she looks at him again, there are tears in her eyes.

"I did not ask him to my room. I did not want him in there. I wish I hadn't allowed him back here, I wish I had believed you when you said that he was interested in me and not in my opinions on Della Francesca." He nods and feels her eyes on him.

"Then why didn't you believe me?"

"Because you hurt me and ignored me." He wants to protest but he remembers Nicholas' words. 'She always looks so sad.' And he remembers that before he left for the dinner, he told her he would stop to ignore her. That was why he came home early after all.

"You said so before."

"I know. And you told me we'd go to London tomorrow. But I suppose you want to cancel that now." That is what he wants to do but when he is about to say yes he sees that again there are tears brimming in his wife's eyes.

"No. I still want to go to London with you." The smile that appears on Cora's face now melts his heart and without thinking about it, he leans forward and kisses her. He wants to go further, much further, but Cora stops him.

"Nicholas is in my room. And we should go to sleep. We can continue this in London." He nods, gets up, takes her hand and leads her back to their room where Nicholas has fallen asleep on her bed. He lifts their son up, carries him to his dressing room and puts him down on his bed.

"We'll leave the door ajar," he says when he comes back and joins his wife in their bed. "But he really is getting too old to sleep in our bed."

"Yes. And I'd much rather share my bed with just you," Cora says while she lies down. He brushes his hand across her cheek and she closes her eyes at his touch.

"I am looking forward to spending the weekend with you. Very much. Just the two of us."

"Good," he hears her mumble before she falls asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for the many reviews on the last chapter! It makes me very happy that this universe is still so popular and it really humbles me that so many of you said that they really like this universe.

This is Robert and Cora's wedding night. Of course Nicholas does not appear in it and theoretically it could fit many other universes, maybe even canon as well.

But this wedding night is referenced twice in Sentimental Haste, once in a conversation between Mary and Cora and once in a conversation between Cora and Robert and I just wanted to write it.

In the Sentimental Hast universe, Robert had already fallen in love with Cora before their wedding, but did not realize what he felt for until months afterwards, so it doesn't really stray from canon.

This chapter is either a high T or a low M. I did not want to put the rating of this complete story up to M because of it, but if you feel uncomfortable reading high T or higher stories, you should probably not read this chapter. It is however not very graphic and focuses on Cora's feelings more than it does on what she and Robert are actually doing.

Please let me know what you think!

Kat

* * *

"Will that be all, my lady?"

"Yes." She watches her lady's maid leave the room, leave her alone. Alone and scared. She is scared because she is sure that Robert will hurt her. Not intentionally of course. But from what her mother has told her, it will hurt, and although she knows that Robert is a gentle person, that he will try to make this as easy as possible for her, she knows that he has to hurt her.

She married the right man, even if he does not love her, even if all of this is not much more than a business arrangement. She had hoped that he would fall in love with her before the wedding but that did not happen and it has put a damper on the whole procedure for her. But still, Robert not loving her does not mean that she, they, can't be content.

And there is a tiny glimmer of hope. When she walked towards him in church and he looked at her, she thought, just for a moment that there was a tiny glimmer of more than contentment, maybe even love in his eyes. And maybe, just maybe, a little flame had started to burn inside of Robert. Whether it would be strong enough to lead to love or at least contentment, Cora could not say. But for Robert to at least be content, to not stray from their marriage bed, there are certain things she needs to do, that she can do. Until yesterday afternoon, she thought that what she would have to do would be to lie in bed, wait for him, spread her legs, let him do his duty and think about something else.

And then her brother had taken her aside.

"Cora?"

"Yes, Harold."

"Let's walk."

"Why? Have you suddenly realized that you like me?"

Harold looked daggers at her and disappointed at the same time.

"I was only teasing, Harold."

"I know. And I'll miss you." She could hardly believe that. They never got on well, they have constantly been fighting for as long as she can remember. They are just too different. She is the dutiful girl who has always done what her parents asked of her, she has never done anything wrong, while Harold turned out quite the playboy when he was 15. Although she has often had the feeling that their father was rather proud of that.

"Cora, don't look as if you didn't believe me. I will miss you and I want you happy."

"Thank you."

"And I want to help you with being happy."

"How so?" Harold turned as red as a tomato then, in fact he looked like a tomato then.

"This isn't easy for me. Talking about this to my sister. Giving my sister … advice."

"Advice on what?"

"On your marital relationship to your husband."

"You've never been married, you can't give me any advice." Harold turned even redder then.

"Not about marriage. But about, well, what Robert will expect you to do with him." She felt herself go as red as a tomato then too.

"Harold, Mother has told me all I need to know. It was embarrassing enough to have to talk to her about it, but talking about it to you,"

"Cora, I know what Mother has told you. To lie back, spread your legs and think of the son who will inherit Robert's title and your money."

"Yes."

"That is not what men want. It is what they are told to expect in a marriage, but it is not what they want."

"What do they want?"

"Turn around."

"What?"

"I can't tell you this when I am looking at you. You are my little sister. So we'll stand back to back."

It felt like a childish game to her, but because she knew that she would miss her brother very much, despite their differences, she did as he asked.

"Don't just lie back. Be active."

"What do you mean?"

"Touch him."

"Where?"

"Everywhere." She almost fainted with embarrassment then.

"What? You mean?"

"Yes. I am sure you know what a man looks like naked. I know you and your friend Catherine used to spy on her cousins." She wished she could vanish into the ground right there and then. And she was very thankful to her brother for having made them stand back to back. "So touch him there too. Not right away. Kiss him first. On the lips I mean. And somewhere else maybe. Let your instincts guide you. Let him kiss and touch you too. And for heaven's sake, don't wear one of those horrible night dresses that Mother thinks you should be wearing." She wanted to run and never, ever, look at her brother again. But something kept her rooted to the spot.

"What should I be wearing instead?"

"The night dress that Rosamund has hidden in your new room."

"Rosamund know about this? Why couldn't she talk to me then?" That would have been so much easier.

"Because she is not a man and not yet married and believe it or not, she and that banker fiancé of hers have never, well. Marmaduke said so last night."

"Oh?" That was all that came to her mind. And all that she would have been able to say even had she wanted to say something else.

"But don't wear it the whole time. Get, well, naked."

"Harold!" She almost turned around and slapped her brother then. But she was too embarrassed to look at him.

"It makes a difference. It is much better if you are skin to skin."

"Well, you should know this."

"I do." They both stayed rooted to the spot and neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. Eventually Harold walked around, still a little read in the face. He offered his arm to her and said

"Let's walk back to the house, sister dear. And please heed my advice. I want you happy and I know that you love this Viscount. And I think you have the chance to make him fall for you."

She didn't really know what to do and thought about it the whole night. But she was sure that Harold did not want to play a trick on her and so, early in the morning, she decided to take her brother's advice instead of her mother's.

And now here she stands, in a nightgown that could hardly be called that, waiting for her husband. The knock on the door makes her jump.

The first thing she notices about him is the surprised look on his face when he looks at her and the second thing she notices is his slightly mussed hair. He looks rather handsome with mussed hair. He walks towards her but stops an arm length away from her.

"Well then," he says and she smiles at him, something that seems to put him at ease. She has the feeling that he is somehow waiting for her to do something and so she steps toward him and puts a hand in his hair. He closes his eyes at her touch, as if he was enjoying it.

"You look very handsome, with your hair mussed up." He chuckles at this.

"I shall keep it in mind." He opens his eyes now and looks directly into hers. She knows that he is unsure about this too, he can't be much more experienced than her, he is more than a year younger after all. And at their age that means something. And he is not a playboy, not like Harold.

"Thank you," she says and then leans forward. They have kissed before, but they have shared only one deep kiss and she wants this kiss to be a deep kiss. So she kisses him on the lips and smiles into the kiss when he kisses her back. Her hand is still in his hair and she curls it into a fist involuntarily, something that elicits a groan from Robert and gives her courage. So she touches his lips with her tongue and he opens his mouth for her. They have done this before, just once, right after he proposed to her. And it feels so good. To kiss him like that, to be kissed like that. A groan escapes her too now and she feels Robert's hands on her hips, pulling her closer, making certain parts of their bodies touch, even if through clothes. And in that moment she knows that she wants all of him, that she does not only wants him to love her but that she wants them to be lovers. So she lets go of his hair and begins to unbutton his pajamas.

"Cora," he says.

"Shh. Follow your instincts and let me follow mine." He nods and then says

"You are incredible." This sends a shiver down her spine, a shiver that is intensified when she realizes that Robert is sliding her nightdress down her shoulders. The moment it falls to the ground, she has managed to divest him of his pajama top. He pushes her away from him a little and just stares at her.

"Incredible, just as I said." He almost growls this and she knows that she has won this, that she has won him over to following his instincts. So she steps closer to him again and begins to run her hands up and down his body, something that makes him hiss and apparently more courageous, because he begins to touch her too now.

"If you feel uncomfortable," he mumbles against her skin and she shakes her head.

"I don't. And if I do, I'll let you know. And this feels wonderful." His hands are moving down her body now and although she has never done this before, she knows exactly where she wants him to touch her and where he wants to be touched.

They both begin to moan and at one point Robert guides them to her bed without letting go of her and without stopping to pepper her with kisses. Once he hovers over her, he stops and looks into her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says and there is nothing but concern and honesty in his eyes.

"I know. And I want you to do this. So very much." It is not a lie. She is desperate for Robert to complete their union. She doesn't know why, she only knows that she will lose her mind if he doesn't go ahead soon. When he finally joins them it does hurt her, but a lot less than she thought it would and Robert stops in his movement to let her adjust to him. Once he begins to move it only takes her a second before she truly understands what 'being active' means. She matches Robert's movements and thinks that she is close to fainting. Until Robert cries out her name and then collapses on top of her.

"I am sorry," he says and she doesn't understand why. So he rakes his head and asks

"Why? I thought this was supposed to happen." She is in fact a little proud of herself for having made Robert react the way he did.

"Yes. It is. But you are supposed to feel that too."

"Am I?" she asks. She is almost sure she is, she felt as if there was something building inside of her and now she feels a little incomplete.

"Yes," Robert says and then lies down next to her. He looks at her for a second and then begins to touch her again. For a moment she thinks about stopping him, but it just feels too good. And it doesn't take long for her to cry out as well. Robert kisses her again and moves away from her a little. It leaves her feeling embarrassed and she asks herself how she could have allowed herself to act the way she did and why she moaned and cried out like that. She then feels Robert pull her close to him and she puts her head on his shoulder and his hand on her chest.

"Cora," he says and she looks at him. "That was incredible. Thank you. I don't think I have ever been this happy. I am so glad I married you." He then kisses her head and moves in a way that makes her afraid that he wants to leave now. But it appears he only tried to get more comfortable.

"Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?" he asks. She almost begins to cry at that question.

"No. It would make me very happy."

"Then I'll stay with you. It will make me very happy too." She can hardly believe it and all her feelings of embarrassment vanish into thin air. While she rakes Robert's chest with her fingers he sighs in complete contentment. It makes her think that the flame of love that she thought might have ignited in Robert when he saw her walking towards him in church today is burning a little brighter now.


	3. Chapter 3

Just to clarify for those who haven't read Sentimental Haste or forgot most of it :)

This is set in April 1919, so Nicholas is four years old.

Isobel and Dr. Clarkson are married and because they spend quite a lot of time at the Abbey, the whole family calls Dr. Clarkson Richard and he calls them by their first names as well.

Tom and Sybil live at Downton at this point, they did go to Ireland but returned around Christmas 1918 and don't go back because of threats made towards Tom.

By popular demand I let Edith and Strallan actually get married in this story, so that is why it says that Edith is married at one point here.

Robert and Cora have already overcome their differences at this point, so Robert never becomes interested in Jane.

The 'other children' in the nursery that are mentioned here are Mary and Matthew's children and Sybil and Tom's daughter.

Hope you like this!

Kat

* * *

"I am worried about Nicholas. He is feverish." He looks at Cora and knows what she is afraid the boy might have.

"I'll say goodnight to him now and see how he is doing. If he really is sick, we can ask Richard to have a look at him. He and Isobel are coming for dinner." Cora nods and he leaves the room.

As soon as he has entered the nursery he knows that his son is sick, because the boy is already in bed and Nicholas never lies down in bed before both of his parents have said goodnight to him.

"Papa?" Nicholas croaks rather than asks and it breaks his heart.

"Yes?"

"I don't feel well." He sits down on his son's bed and feels his forehead. Cora's estimation that Nicholas was feverish certainly was right and now he too is afraid that their son might have caught the Spanish Flu.

"Don't talk if it hurts you." He rings for the Nanny then, because the first thing that needs to be done is to get the other children out of the nursery. It would probably be easier to move Nicholas but he looks so tired and exhausted that he does not dare to lift him out of his bed. He tries to talk to his son but the boy is so weak that he keeps nodding of and he thinks that it is probably for the best if Nicholas sleeps for a while.

Cora joins him about half an hour later, sits down next to him and gently brushes her hand across Nicholas' cheek.

"He is burning up," she says.

"I know."

"I'll tell Carson to send Richard up as soon as he gets here. He won't mind."

Cora leaves for a few minutes and then returns. They should both go downstairs, the family is gathering in the drawing room now and they will have dinner soon, but neither one of them moves and they don't need to talk about it. If they are right and Nicholas really has Spanish Flu then their son is somewhere between life and death and they won't leave him. Losing a child is something inconceivable for both Cora and him, they both love their children with all their heart and if one of them were to die, they would both fall into a bottomless hole.

When he hears a knock on the door he gets up and lets Richard in.

They cut the formalities short and it only takes Richard about five minutes to examine Nicholas and to give them his evaluation.

"It is Spanish flu," he says.

"Oh dear God," Cora says and begins to sway so much that he has to hold onto her.

"Will he" he can't finish the question but he doesn't have to, Richard knows what he wanted to ask.

"I don't know. Nicholas is a healthy child but he is a child. And the disease is very tricky and unpredictable."

"I hope you understand that I won't be able to join you for dinner tonight," Cora says and sits down on the bed again.

"Of course I understand. I'll excuse both of you. It is best if the patient is surrounded by what is familiar and the best you can do for Nicholas now is to stay with him, at least for a while. Even if he doesn't say anything, he might very well hear your voices. I'll come upstairs again after dinner."

With that Richard leaves and Cora and he are left alone with their sick son.

"Why?" Cora asks. "Why us? After everything we went through in the war, after everything that Nicholas has been through with growing up in a convalescent home, his father missing for half a year and his brother-in-law returning with that dreadful injury can't he be spared this? Why can't we just live in peace?"

He doesn't know what to say, so he takes Cora in his arms and holds her tight.

"I don't know. I really don't know." Cora begins to shake and sob then and once again he realizes how thin she has become. The war and its aftermath haven taken their toll on her at least as much as on him. He can't regret going to war but he wishes he could have spared her the fear she must have felt for him when he was lost. She never talks about it, but from what Mary, Sybil and Edith have told him, there was a time when Cora was the only person living at Downton who still hoped that he was not dead. And he knows that there was a point at which Cora accepted his very likely death. She must have suffered so much and still kept everything running. And now with the war over and Matthew's injury having almost healed, she still does so much charity work, so much more than she did before the war and he is afraid that it is more than is good for her. He tries to help her where he can, he fully supports her, he accompanies her to fund raisings, he convinced his mother to give her name to two of the charities that Cora works so hard for, but it is too much. And now their little boy, their little miracle is sick and might not survive.

"Robert, if he doesn't,"

"Shh," he says because he does not want her to say it out loud. "How about I read to him? He likes it and I know that you like to listen to it too."

He guides Cora back to Nicholas' bed, they both sit down and he begins to read. He doesn't know how long he does this, eventually he looks up and sees that Cora has nodded of too. She is holding their little boy's hand and he sends a prayer to the heavens that Nicholas will not die.

Richard comes and goes, that night, the next morning, around lunch, between lunch and dinner, before dinner, after dinner, during the middle of the night, he doesn't know how often after a while anymore. All he knows is that each time that Richard looks at Nicholas he looks more worried and Cora has become rather frantic. She hasn't slept in more than a day, he is sure of it and he thinks that he hasn't slept either. Nicholas keeps coughing and his breath is ragged and sometimes it stops for a few seconds and every time that happens, the world seems to spin out of control. They can't get his fever down either, something that seems to worry Richard quite a lot.

"Robert? Would you come outside just for a minute?" Richard asks this as quietly as possibly. Cora has nodded off again on her chair next to Nicholas' bed. It is has been four days since they were told that their son had contracted Spanish Flu.

"What is it?" he asks although he is afraid the he knows what is coming.

"It doesn't look good. If the fever doesn't break tonight, Nicholas' chances are minimal. It is up to you to tell Cora."

"Thank you," he says and returns to the nursery.

"If the fever doesn't break soon, he won't make it," Cora says and looks at him. He wonders how she knows but he supposes that she just does.

"I am afraid so."

"Robert, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. There is nothing we can do besides holding his hand, cooling his forehead and praying." So that is what they do. Neither one of them is very religious, he even less so than Cora, but praying is all there is left to for them. He keeps reading to Nicholas and Cora keeps applying a cool cloth to his forehead and eventually, miraculously at 5 am, the fever goes down. Nicholas wakes up only 15 minutes later, looks at them and says

"I am very thirsty." His voice is hoarse but strong and although he needs Cora's help drinking, he does so without any further difficulties. Richard pronounces Nicholas to be well on the road to recovery at eight and Robert has never been so relieved in his life. But he has never been so afraid either. And he thinks that he will never again feel that kind of fear.

He is sure of it until three hours later when on her way downstairs, Cora loses her balance and the only thing that keeps her from falling all the way into the entrance hall is Mrs. Hughes holding onto her. He watched the scene from downstairs, he runs towards them, grabs Cora and carries her upstairs. He doesn't need to wait for Richard's examination, he knows that Cora has got the Spanish Flu. And the symptoms are much more pronounced in her than they were in Nicholas. She writhes on the bed, she keeps throwing up blood, she fades in and out of consciousness and her temperature is higher than Nicholas' ever was.

He keeps holding Cora's hand and begs her not to die and again he has no idea how long he sits next to her bed. Mary and Edith come to the room several times, Nicholas is still too weak and Sybil is pregnant so they have both been told to stay away from Cora's room. Mary and Edith look as worried as he feels, he knows that neither one of them is ready to lose their mother, even if they are both married. It is Mary who comes to him in the middle of the night.

"By the look on your face I gather that she has not improved."

"No. The fever hasn't broken yet and she keeps vomiting. I am afraid she doesn't know who I am, not all the time."

"But I am sure that she knows that someone who loves her very much is sitting by her side." He takes Mary's hand and squeezes it.

"Thank you." Mary nods and keeps staring at her mother.

"I can't imagine life without her. It is silly, I have three children myself, but yet I can't imagine life without my mother."

"No. And it is not silly. Your mother is a wonderful person. She is the glue to this family, she holds everything together. I sometimes think that we would be nothing without her." Mary nods again, says

"I think you are right," and then takes a deep breath.

"Papa, I came here to tell you something. If Mama should not…make it," he wants her to stop, he desperately wants her to stop so he looks at Mary pleadingly but she ignores it, maybe because now that she has started, it is easier to go on than to stop, "then I want you to know that I will help you. With everything. Nicholas mostly of course, but everything else. I'll take over all of Mama's responsibilities or share them with Sibyl. But you wouldn't be alone. I talked to Matthew about it, he too thinks it is the right thing to do. I hope I will never have to take over any of Mama's responsibilities, but if it came to it, I would do it."

"Thank you Mary," he says because it is all he can say. Mary gently squeezes his shoulders before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Good night Papa. And please wake me if you need me."

He says "yes" but already knows that he won't wake Mary unless it comes to the worst. He is thankful to her for having offered her help but he wants Cora to himself, especially if this is their last night together.

He takes Cora's hand in his and draws circles on it, hoping that she will realize that it is him taking care of her and that he loves her very much. He wonders if he should prepare himself for her possible death, if he should think about what to tell the girls and Nicholas and imagining himself telling his children that their mother has died lets his tears spill over.

"Robert?" He thinks that he is dreaming, but when he looks at Cora, her eyes are open and less glazed over than they were before.

"You are awake."

"Yes."

"It's a sight to gladden my heart. You gave me such a fright." Cora smiles a small smile and moves her hand in his.

"I am sorry, darling. But I think I am better now."

"Good."

"How is Nicholas?"

"Much better. But Richard wouldn't let me spend time with Nicholas as long as I stayed so close to you. Mary and Matthew took care of him. I suppose we will both be allowed to see him quite soon."

"Good."

He spends two more days at Cora's bedside, and Nicholas is allowed to come to the room on the second day. He really looks normal again and while he watches his son jumping on his bed and telling his mother a story about how his cat Felix chased Isis through the entrance hall, the door opens and a fear stricken Sybil appears in the room.

"It is Tom this time," she says and leaves.

* * *

What happens to Tom is part of the actual Sentimental Haste story, so I won't put it here :)

To the reader who asked for a Mary/Matthew story: I have had one in my head for quite some time now and as I have a little less work to do than usual at the moment, it is not unlikely that I will write it. Thanks for the encouragement!


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